So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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