He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
