i was rollin on her like bob the builder
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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