he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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