I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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