Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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