Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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