My friends, they love my intelligence
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize
