I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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