I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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