I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
