They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
