Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
