the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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