did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
