Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
