Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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