check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize