I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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