WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
