my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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