apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
