I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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