see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
