i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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