In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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