Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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