Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
