wat bout pragnant strippers??
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
