Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
