did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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