I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i love accidental penises.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
