used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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