my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I just put wine in my tea
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
