My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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