we're chasing vodka with high fives
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
