How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
even my farts smell like vagina
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My penis needs a shock collar
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
