It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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