don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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