Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She announced her abortion via fbk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
