yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
