I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He passed out mid-signature
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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