I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
