When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
