im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
