This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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