No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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