hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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