is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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