fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
