found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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