ugly people sure do ruin things
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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