textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize