no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
