i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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