So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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